Hello, my faithful followers. Have you missed me? I feel guilty for not writing, because that's just who I am. The things that have kept me from you are - in this order:
1. Choir, Chatting with a New Friend, Project Runway - Completely Acceptable
2. Family Date Night and Preparing for Women's Retreat - Well, okay
3. Sunburn and Falling Asleep at 8:15 p.m. - Sunburn at 39? Really? Sleep, acceptable.
4. Sunburn - Seriously, get over yourself!
5. General Malaise of Crankiness - No one wants to hear you whine, even on a blog
Which brings me to Day 31, I think. I am still practically sugar free. I had a small bite of a raisin cookie at the retreat, but it was from Portos! I had to try it. And I've had a couple of spoonfuls of gluten free casein free cereal with organic cane juice. But for me, this is not bad. Otherwise, I'm eating Uncle Sam cereal. Really - Uncle Sam cereal! I described it today as what they probably ate in the Matrix movie in the "real world." It tastes like nothing.
Back to Day 31, it was a pretty awesome day. I got some work done. The hubby pitched in and ran some errands for me. Including picking up my new Libman Freedom Spray Mop, which will hopefully clean my floors, save the environment and keep harmful chemicals away from my sweet child. I'll let you know.
And speaking of my sweet child, it was a good day for both of us. My son has autism. I say that he has autism, not that he is autistic. A very wise women and mother of a son with autism pointed out to me that "autism doesn't define a child." It is just part of them.
We are lucky. He is considered "high functioning" and has made great strides. He only started talking last year. Last year, he could not tell you what he wanted for Christmas. This year he can. He expresses himself. Of course, we still have issues like rigidity, social struggles, and he is still speech delayed. But thanks to an early diagnosis, early intervention, Applied Behavior Analysis, TACA, biomedical intervention, an incredible DAN! doctor, the support of friends and family and an iron will, he is recovering. And he is making new friends.
Tonight, one of his new friends from the local nursery school, chose him to receive a special Halloween treat! The same friend wanted to sit by him at a movie I orchestrated for parents and children from the school. He is being fully included in his "neurotypical" school.
School pictures were today. I always dread structured activities because, you never know what you're going to get. But he was great! He sat there, looked directly in the camera and gave the photographer the most natural of smiles. He even posed! I just hadn't expected him to comply the way that he did. It really overwhelmed me. I am so proud of all of his accomplishments. And in this moment, I saw my little boy growing up.
So all of this brings me back to trying to decide what more I want in life. To make a decision, you have to know what you want. I think I just need some quiet time, to think. Even though it seems like the decisions may be out of my control, I still have some say in it. In the meantime (and I would like to thank my husband for gently guiding me to this), you have to be happy with what you have. And I really am.
And I would like to take this moment to comment on "balance." Growing up, I was very...how do I say this?...non-organic. I ate american cheese, cooked on teflon, microwaved things in plastic, had no problem with pesticides, like cleaning products that were "chemically", ate Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast, permed my hair and was pro-antibiotics. I had this one friend who's mother was very "granola." You know the type, whole wheat bread, granola for breakfast...You get the picture - in my simple mind she was way out there. Well, now that I've completely turned into my friends mom, sometimes I go a little too organic. Note to self, even though sunscreens are "chemically" and many of us are suffering from low Vitamin D, sunburns are worse.
Balance. Trust. Be present in the moment. And use sunscreen when doing yoga at the beach...
I never knew he had autism. I have loads of resources (blogs, other parents, etc.) who have gone thru all the things you face. Check out Aunt Becky's blog, her oldest son is also very high functioning: http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/ She is very funny and very informative as all three of her children have had "challenges" in life.
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